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Missed | Connections
Ultimately in the single life, whichever ever phase it may be, we want to end up in the best-case scenario with another human. Best-case scenario’s may not just be a result of finding your true love. It is also coming across the ones who are communicative and honest if they are not “feeling it.” Yeah, sometimes that can be disheartening if feelings grew more one sided, but honesty and consideration for one’s feelings allows everyone to be on the same page. This seems to become more and more of a “lost art” as time goes by. But let’s face it, dating in 2019 is kind of fucked as it seems the more common scenarios are the ones that makes us simply lose hope.
My personal track record has been relationship after relationship with no breaks to really heal, grow and see the patterns I have so openly invited into my world that were continuously not working. As I detached myself from a toxic relationship 1 year ago, I decided to just give myself a break and focus on my personal journey, date and meet new people. At some point in life after seeing the same patterns in our relationships that aren’t working, we create a list of the “Ideal person” we seek. Bright eye and bushy tailed going into the single life, I was excited to meet new people. Little did I know, I just entered the black hole of bullshit.
Now, I can only share through experience and living in LA I feel people have become numb to being genuine and organic. Ironic because LA is all about that organic life. We sit behind our phone’s swiping right swiping left, following lives through social media just for that instant gratification people seek and once they get it, they are out. Most people out here are so consumed on work and following that dream as I am one of them. But when you put yourself out there in the dating world, you’re projecting that you have a little time to date and connect. As a woman in her 30’s, dating in LA can be annoying with all the beautiful young tail running around. For the most part their conversations go as far as a cement wall, but they are nice to look at. It seems most guys out here go for that and when you have an actual personality, good conversation and possess communication skills it seems to scare them away.
With that being said people seem to lose sight on being considerate of others with scenarios from waiting at a bar because they made plans with you yet they don’t show up, Bread crumbing you with just enough of them to keep you around and the ultimate douche-bag scenario is ghosting. Ghosting has many tiers of annoyances as I can write a book about them but let’s stick to the ones that really stand out, shall we? Plans are set as you get ready for the evening to meet up, reaching out to get an ETA and hearing nothing back. We then hop on social media to distract the fact you just got ready to go out and got ditched, they are all over social media at a different bar. You meet someone where you have great conversations, connect and have hungout multiple times thinking it’s all going well and one day they just fall off the face of the earth. The scenario that takes the cake is getting picked up to get food, you drive around for 10 minutes and they get a "text" to help someone with a flat tire. They drop you off back home saying they will reach out when they are done yet you never hear from them again. Why can’t we just be normal humans and communicate what we want at the beginning or the moment you just aren’t “feeling it” anymore instead of being a piece of shit.. I know we've all experienced this in one way or another, but just know that they ultimately did you a favor by taking themselves out of the picture and thus letting you continue your journey. Thank you for reading.