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Te.Kill.Ya

        

2/23/2020

     That bitter sweet taste to the tongue as it goes down into our system can be a fun, flirty, talkative yet a somewhat dangerous way to let loose. That bitter sweet girlfriend we call Tequila can be our best friend and our worst enemy.  Of course all liquors have their own effect and everyone is effected differently. Some, maybe most people can handle their moderation of this beautiful Devil. We all have our own personal relationship with Tequila and we all pay for it the next day if shit got crazy, which seems to mostly be the case.


     For whatever reason, Te.kill.ya bares the burden in the topic. “Tequila makes me crazy” is a response you’ve likely heard or even said yourself. Country music may have something to do with this...The ballad of a night out on Tequila goes something like this: Rounds of shots, Impromptu karaoke, After-party after parties and Cavernous shame and regret.
 

"Never again", you say.
"Tequila makes me crazy", you say.
"I just want to fuck strangers when I drink that stuff", you say.


     In my case throughout my life, Tequila has created an alter ego and her name is Jackie - named by my own brother.  I'm either a frisky kitty with regrets in the morning, my Tequila self loves talking into the phone with multiple video messages and texts to people sharing whatever is on my mind at whatever time of the night with no consideration, or it's just lights out.. When in reality, my face should be giving my pillow sweet head and sleeping the night off....Of course Jackie doesn't listen to reality, she just does whatever she wants. As reality sets in the morning with a slight regret followed by the apology texts to whoever got the wrath of her. The thoughts of "I'm never drinking again", stream through the mind. 


     I am sure we have all had these moments whether it's with Tequila or any other poisons we choose. But Tequila has it's own special powers that can make, break or stir things up in your life and not the way we want our lives to be stirred up. 


    In conclusion I have decided to break up with Tequila for now and let Jackie go, as the decisions she has made don't really put who I am in a good light and in those moments I probably come across as annoying and somewhat "crazy". Traits I am not...My advise and the advise from the liquor companies - drink responsibly... Tequila you tasty bitch, I'm letting you go for now... I guess I'll just stick to whisky, at least that alter ego is tame.... lmfao

**Thank you for reading**

Missed | Connections

        

12/1/19

    Ultimately in the single life, whichever ever phase it may be, we want to end up in the best-case scenario with another human.  Best-case scenario’s may not just be a result of finding your true love.  It is also coming across the ones who are communicative and honest if they are not “feeling it.”  Yeah, sometimes that can be disheartening if feelings grew more one sided, but honesty and consideration for one’s feelings allows everyone to be on the same page. This seems to become more and more of a “lost art” as time goes by. But let’s face it, dating in 2019 is kind of fucked as it seems the more common scenarios are the ones that makes us simply lose hope.

    My personal track record has been relationship after relationship with no breaks to really heal, grow and see the patterns I have so openly invited into my world that were continuously not working.  As I detached myself from a toxic relationship 1 year ago, I decided to just give myself a break and focus on my personal journey, date and meet new people. At some point in life after seeing the same patterns in our relationships that aren’t working, we create a list of the “Ideal person” we seek.  Bright eye and bushy tailed going into the single life, I was excited to meet new people. Little did I know, I just entered the black hole of bullshit.

     Now, I can only share through experience and living in LA I feel people have become numb to being genuine and organic.  Ironic because LA is all about that organic life.  We sit behind our phone’s swiping right swiping left, following lives through social media just for that instant gratification people seek and once they get it, they are out. Most people out here are so consumed on work and following that dream as I am one of them. But when you put yourself out there in the dating world, you’re projecting that you have a little time to date and connect.  As a woman in her 30’s, dating in LA can be annoying with all the beautiful young tail running around.  For the most part their conversations go as far as a cement wall, but they are nice to look at.   It seems most guys out here go for that and when you have an actual personality, good conversation and possess communication skills it seems to scare them away. 

 

    With that being said people seem to lose sight on being considerate of others with scenarios from waiting at a bar because they made plans with you yet they don’t show up, Bread crumbing you with just enough of them to keep you around and the ultimate douche-bag scenario is ghosting.  Ghosting has many tiers of annoyances as I can write a book about them but let’s stick to the ones that really stand out, shall we?  Plans are set as you get ready for the evening to meet up, reaching out to get an ETA and hearing nothing back.  We then hop on social media to distract the fact you just got ready to go out and got ditched, they are all over social media at a different bar.  You meet someone where you have great conversations, connect and have hungout multiple times thinking it’s all going well and one day they just fall off the face of the earth. The scenario that takes the cake is getting picked up to get food, you drive around for 10 minutes and they get a "text" to help someone with a flat tire.  They drop you off back home saying they will reach out when they are done yet you never hear from them again.  Why can’t we just be normal humans and communicate what we want at the beginning or the moment you just aren’t “feeling it” anymore instead of being a piece of shit.. I know we've all experienced this in one way or another, but just know that they ultimately did you a favor by taking themselves out of the picture and thus letting you continue your journey. Thank you for reading.